Whispers in the dark
by ThusSpokeRaven
Summary: Nalex. Set before season one.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This started out as a one-shot but its turning out to be something else. I'm not sure where it's going yet. Just a little something that popped into my mind while I was writing the sequel to Facilis Descensus Averno. The rating will change in a chapter or two.**

**Edited for FF. Full MA version will appear at AO3 soon.**

**Set sometime before season one. AU/Fem slash/Nalex**

* * *

Nikita turned the chilled glass of white wine in her fingers. The light from the recesses above her in the intimate restaurant shone dully in the liquid. She took a small sip, rolling it over her tongue slowly. Closing her eyes she followed her minds musings about the flavor. She rode waves of oak and fruit and smiled at the crispness. Her whole world had changed. She was trying to find something like a life in the small moments away from Division, life in glasses of wine and meals and moments away, living.

Division was not a place to live. There was no breath that was not monitored or relationship that was not watched if not outright orchestrated. Nikita, as an agent with some small measure of trust, was given a certain degree which she used to try to work out how to taste life as she tasted the wine in her glass. Fully, and unfortunately in small doses. Human relations were not a part of Division life.

Imagines of Kelly flashed through her mind. Her friend and partner in the field, Kelly had been one of her only true friends at Division. The attractive blonde had fallen for a young man in operations. They began a secretive affair that she had sold Michael as just a cover, a convenient "pairing" to keep either from dealing with entangling relationships from without. Michael believed it was just a cover. Not everyone did. Percy was not convinced. Jacob, Kelly's boyfriend died in a "home invasion." Percy was not the type to allow for the possibility of shared loyalties. Relationships were not allowed at Division. Kelly came to Nikita's apartment and wept. When Percy thought she was ready again, he sent her out. She never came back from that mission. Kelly died and Nikita woke up to the truth.

"Your salad, ma'am." The waiter smiled, pulling Nikita out of her thoughts.

Nikita nodded her thanks to the server who placed the tofu and kale salad in front of her. While this was not the finest restaurant in the city, they had a healthy selection of vegetarian dishes. She was just savoring the aroma and taste and texture of the first mouthful when a dark haired man dressed in an off the rack dark suit and open necked white shirt came in leading a young woman clothed in a dress made for dancing and trimmed in a burgundy fur.

The scowling thick necked man stopped and lifted and dropped his hand. The girl reacted as if he yanked her leash. She moved up beside him and lowered her chin. A waiter showed them to the table opposite hers. Nikita looked up through her eyelashes. The young woman was high. That much was almost as certain as there was a sky above. Her skin was pale, her eyes too bright, stumbling slightly before she took her seat to the right of the man. Nikita's fork stopped midway as she studied the brunette.

Nikita swallowed hard. The girl across from her, fidgeting slightly looking at the frowning man beside her was none other than Alexandra Udinov. The years had turned the young girl she rescued into a woman, but Nikita knew without a doubt it was her.

The last time she had seen Alexandra was when she gave her over for safekeeping. It was her one little act of rebellion prior to Kelly, the one little attempt to cling to shreds of her own soul. This was the girl she was supposed to have killed but instead secreted away in the night.

The man growled out a few sentences. Nikita watched intently. A few minutes was all it took to tell Nikita what she needed to know. The way the girl leaned in his direction. His proprietary mannerism. A small cellophane bag pulled from his pocket, slid across the table top toward Alex. Turning the bag over in her hand, she shot up from her chair and headed off toward the restroom in the back of the restaurant.

Nikita wiped her lips with the napkin in her lap and followed. She stared at the stall door as she pretended to check her lipstick. Alex stumbled slightly as she moved to the sink. She washed her hands slowly and methodically as she became aware of the other woman in the room. Nikita felt the eyes heavy on her. She was being assessed.

Alexandra looked at the woman and smiled. "See something you like?" she asked seductively.

Nikita looked at her evenly. "And if I did?"

The younger woman turned and ran her hand over Nikita's shoulder. "I am worth every penny." Her lips slipped slowly, with small breaths over Nikita's jaw. Slight puffs of air ignited nerves Nikita had thought dead.

"Tonight?" Nikita asked.

"I am... engaged for the evening." Alexandra offered as she nibbled Nikita's earlobe. "I'm worth the wait too," she whispered.

The breath and the lips tickling at the soft skin under her ear was exciting. Nikita moaned quietly. Her fingers reached out and stroked at the younger woman's side. "When?" she whispered.

"Tomorrow night. Morgan's." she smiled.

"Morgan's?"

"The bar at the end of the block." Alex's fingers moved up Nikita's thigh slowly and pressed at the top, a very short, very tantalizing distance from Nikita's center.

Nikita felt wet and weak. All the plans she had to set Alexandra's life right were a million miles from her mind as Alex's soft lips caressed hers.

"You haven't told me your name." Nikita's eyes searched hers and after a beat, she leaned forward gently tucking a lock of hair behind the younger woman's ear.

"Sasha."

Alexandra left the bathroom with a brief backward glance. Nikita leaned into the sink catching her breath. Never had anyone taken her breath away with a few touches. She would spend the evening keeping her eye on the Russian heiress and now sex slave.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews. They are needed!**

**chpll1525: The sequel and the other fic we spoke about are coming soon. ;)**

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Alexandra parted from Vlad the thick necked pimp at the corner. He grabbed the back of her neck with a hairy hand as she turned to go and spinning her back he leaned in and spoke to her sternly. Nodding, she pulled back and walked away. Her heels clicked on the sidewalk in sharp staccato. The set of her shoulders hinted at anger.

Nikita followed at a distance. The young woman looked around surreptitiously before she stopped a few blocks down and walked into an alley. Stepping around piles of spilled garbage and rain warped chunks of cardboard she made her way to a can. She hissed and kicked the old and dented city can. A handful of tin cans rattled away merrily. Stepping back she caught her breath. Alex began to kick the can in earnest a frown creasing her face. She stopped suddenly and then began stalking back up the alley. Nikita barely ducked away in time. She was wondering about this display of anger. Was it against the sex slaving Vlad? Possibly a john? Maybe her situation in general?

Nikita was worried at the wild look in the other woman's eyes. Something was even more wrong than she realized. She continued to follow at a closer distance slowly moving along the night street, avoiding the lamps where she could. She was glad that she was wearing darker colors for her evening out. Being invisible had benefits.

Alexandra walked up to a heavy set man with a leer on his face and sweat stains on his grimy blue dress shirt. He took her arm firmly and walked her toward a hotel. Alex's face was grimly set as they crossed the street. He didn't look at her. She was a means to an end and there was an end to it apparently.

The assassin found a place in the line at the run down hotel. She heard the desk clerk as he told the fellow where to go for his room as cash crossed the poorly polished counter. Alex and the john moved toward the brass elevator. Nikita asked for a room on the same floor, saying Mr. Big-and-Ugly was her self centered boss. She smiled as she was placed in an adjoining room. While she disliked playing the flirt card, there were times that it worked way better than an upper cut to the jaw.

She looked around grimly at the room. Ice bucket, plastic cups, a distinct lack of things that could be snuck out. She turned her attention to the wall she shared. Nikita placed her ear against the door to the next room. The voices were muffled but she could make a little of the conversation in the adjoining room. The man was a low growl through the door. She made out a few words, mostly pertaining to sexual positions. She heard Alex. "I don't do that."

He mentioned a number, a dollar amount.

"No."

Nikita heard a meaty thump and a yelp. She ran to the kitchenette and came back using the dusty microwave as a battering ram. The door's piss poor latch failed under the concerted assault.

The man was on top of Alex tearing at her top, his own shirt open to show off his pasty white and hairy hide. His mouth was open in surprise and he flew back as she slammed his face with the microwave before tossing it to the side and grabbing Alexandra. They ran back through to her room. Thank the gods she had the presence of mind to use throw away identity four for this little soiree, she thought. Nikita pulled Alex into the elevator at the end of the hall and pulling off her jacket, threw it around Alexandra's shoulders.

"Stop stop," Alex kept saying. "I have to go back. I have to make him happy. He's a special...client."

Nikita looked at her surprised. "You like that pig?"

"Hell no. He's a fucking pervert and a rhino. My ... boss likes him." Alex pulled on the jacket trying to hide the rip. She looked at Nikita. "I have to go back."

Nikita shook her head. "You can't." She shook her head and wanted to jump up and down to get the elevator to drop faster and without the metallic screeches. "You just can't."

Alexandra tried to jab a button. Nikita grabbed her hand. "He was going to take what he wanted."

"Don't they all," Alex sneered. "He's going to kill me," she groaned.

Nikita shook her head and grasped her forearm. "No. He's not. You're coming with me."

"You want a date that bad? Pay me extra so I can keep the boss off my ass." Alexandra crossed her arms. Just thinking about the damage he would do to her for fucking up with the Fat Slob was giving her a cold shiver. The last of his girls that fucked up ended up being shoveled into a body bag. The one before was used to work out fighting dogs. He was a man of lethal temper.

Nikita nodded curtly. She blamed herself for Alex ending up in this life. She murdered Vlad in her mind over and over as she stared at the panicked woman. Alex was used to life as that piece of shit's property. She was programmed through years of abuse and addiction to obey. Nikita knew that she was going to have to play this game a little while before she tried to get Alexandra out of this life she was living in. She needed to gain her trust, Nikita thought, and that would take more than one date. No matter how long or what it took, she would set the wrong things right, at least for Alexandra. She tried to tell herself that as Alex walked out of the elevator beside her.

"We'll go back to my place. I have more than enough cash to placate your... boss."

Alexandra looked at her frowning. "Try anything that I do not want, and you will see that microwave trick from the other side."

Nikita smiled broadly. "I think you and I are going to get along just fine."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter edited for FF. Full MA version will be posted at AO3 sometime today.**

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Nikita opened the passenger side of the car for Alex. "I know a place. It's a little ways off."

"Not a serial killer are you?"

Nikita chuckled. "Serial no. Get in."

One of the things Nikita had been doing since Kelly self-destructed on mission was to make little retreats. One retreat was her deeply sensual enjoyment of meals or music. The other was a loft in a building a block from where she parked. Division had supplied her an upscale apartment, but she thought that it was likely as private as being the star of a reality TV show. This loft was paid for in cash, registered under a corporation that never was and was a haven she gave herself a few hours here and there.

Nikita opened the door and ushered Alexandra in. Alex turned slowly with raised brow. A wide open space had been carved from a warehouse space. A bed occupied the far corner from the kitchen, a small space bounded by frosted windows in frames taken from a factory or something of the sort. No art or personal pictures to be seen. A stereo with abundant cds and a steel bakers rack of clothes and linens occupied a corner.

"You are probably saving tons by going with the minimums. Is that a personal or financial choice," Alex asked.

Nikita chuckled and dropped her keys on a small table next to the door. "Personal."

Alexandra turned. "Should I worry then? This is your place to bring back your prey before you turn their bones into chandeliers and lamps?"

"Number one. I already told you I am not a serial killer and number two, ew." Nikita smiled. "What will make you feel safe here Alex?"

Alexandra's face lost its amusement. "I didn't tell you my name."

Nikita shrugged. "I must have heard it."

Alex looked at her suspiciously. "Payment up front and I get to cuff one of your wrists to the bedframe."

Nikita looked at her assessingly. "That would make you feel safe?"

"Safer." Alex crossed her arms.

"Alright if I take a shower first?"

Alex nodded and walked toward the kitchen.

Nikita smiled. "Raid the fridge while you're here," she called as she walked to the bathroom.

"I will thanks," came through the door as bottles tinkled. "Oh for fucks sake. Are you a vegetarian?"

Nikita laughed and went to turn the shower knob. While the water sprayed, she took out an emergency kit from under the far side of the claw foot tub. She secreted a handcuff key between her fingers to slide under a pillow when she left the bathroom and one of the bundles of cash which she placed on the edge of the sink. Slipping the key in the soap tray under the shower head, she soaped herself.

Nikita closed her eyes and slowly ran soapy fingers over her skin. She kept telling herself that she wouldn't go through with the sex part of the date. She was trying to make things right with and for Alex, but she kept flashing on how strongly the touch of Alexandra's soft lips and deft fingers had affected her. By the time the water had cooled, she felt weak with need for Alex's touch and strong in her intent to take Alex off of Vlad's leash.

She re-hid the key between fingers and walked out in a towel. Nikita stopped as she caught a glimpse of Alex, who was watching her steadily with a smile, wearing nothing but a half buttoned over sized oxford from her own clothes rack. Nikita smiled. "I left your money on the sink."

Alexandra stepped up against Nikita and slid against her pressing her back far enough to look past her into the bathroom, her eyes swiftly landing on the pile of cash on the sink. Alex kissed her throat as she pulled back. "Good girl." Alexandra's fingers slid over her shoulder and followed her collarbone then down center line to the edge of the towel. Alex chewed her lip slightly as her eyes became a physical force over Nikita's body

Nikita felt herself grow wet just from the caressing gaze. She smiled at the other woman and touched her lips. Alex took her wrist and gently pulled it away pressing the older woman back to the side of the bed. Alexandra took her hand away and slid her hand around to where the towel was tucked in. Nikita's eyes locked with Alexandra's as the towel slipped away.

Alex smiled and slipped a cheap pair of handcuffs from the breast pocket of the oxford. Her tongue brushed her lower lip as her eyes slid down Nikita's body. She moaned as the tightly muscled body before her moved onto the bed. Nikita's wrist slid slowly up, first under the pillow and then up to the bed frame.

"You going to run on me?" Nikita asked thickly.

Alexandra closed the cuffs on wrist and frame. She climbed up and straddled Nikita on her knees. Her hands came down, brunette hair tickling as it fell around them. Nikita and Alex stared at one another, the only people in the room. Alexandra's lips hovered just over Nikita's ear. "I'm going to show you how good you can feel... Just relax." Her breath feathered over sensitive throat skin.

When Alex had skillfully driven her over the edge, Nikita ran fingers down the back of the oxford. "Take off the cuff. I need to touch you," she announced breathlessly.

Alexandra pulled back and shook her head. "That's not how this works. I'm going to get dressed... then I'll let you loose." She sat up and stroked Nikita's stomach avoiding her eyes. "I'll be right back." Standing, Alex grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom.

Nikita reached under the pillow and grabbed the key. She considered unlocking herself for long moments before replacing the key and laying back. Her hand gripped the cuff as the door of the bathroom opened. Alex walked out. Alex smiled and leaned in the doorway. "You look good like that." the younger woman purred.

Watching her, Nikita stretched lazily. "Oh? I might say the same of you... when you are out of that dress."

Alex picked up Nikita's cell and quickly tapped into it. "I took the money. My ... business manager is at this number." She looked up and put down the phone before crossing the room to brush knuckles against silken skin. A key lightly landed on the pillow beside Nikita's head. Alex leaned in and kissed the other woman briefly before walking out.

Nikita sighed, she had a lot of thinking to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'll be finishing off this short fic soon. As promised, I have a Nikita centric fic coming in April. **

**The sequel to FDA is coming too. ;)**

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Nikita stood looking long and hard into the night. Stars above barely had a chance to shine under the onslaught of the city light's below. She played it out over and over in her mind. How was she to free Alexandra? She would have to help the younger woman get past her addictions, but she was loath to do it as an homage to Trainspotting where she would chain Alex up with a stack of soup cans and saltines. This was a particularly bad scenario when one thought about her own leash, Division.

To move forward, Nikita thought, she must remove her own leash. It would be even more dangerous to go rogue than it had ever been to be Percy's cannon fodder. Her teeth gritted as she thought of Kelly again. Kelly and her lover both died for Percy's little narratives. Nikita shook her head. She would not die for Percy or Division. Ever since the night she killed Alexandra's father, she lost her taste for killing for them as well. Cancelling a thirteen year old girl was the line she refused to cross. It was time to cut the link.

Time to go rogue...but how? She could simply run for it. That would be the fastest way. Of course depending on the where and how, Division would put bloodhounds on her in short order. Maybe she could throw a little gasoline on her own trail...or better yet thermite. She smiled. That would be trickier, but it could throw off the ghouls a little longer, perhaps permanently.

She looked up as a plane went over. It was going to be dangerous, but she had to write her own narratives from this point forward. Percy had to be cut out of her life so she could cut Vlad out of Alex's.

* * *

Nikita smiled as her hand stroked down the balcony rail before she tucked a bit of hair behind her ear. A kiss feathered her shoulder and the scent of cologne reached her nostrils. She barely covered the shudder of revulsion that threatened. She wanted Alex's lips to be there, the other woman's scent caressing her. No. This wasn't about that. She needed to make things right. Anything else was just...

Nikita tilted her head. "I'll be in shortly." She turned and gave the tall dark man behind her a sultry smile. He pulled her hand to his lips. Nodding, the arms dealer went back into the luxury apartment. He was wearing a polo above artfully ripped and faded jeans. The picture of pretentious unpretentiousness. It was a good thing he was good at his job, because he obviously would not make it as a male model. He definitely needed to stick with cordite and thermite.

The best thing about arms dealers, they often keep stock cached nearby. Getting free could be made easier with the addition of some explosive that didn't come with a boatload of Division suspicion. She could take some of the business stock at Division, but she didn't want anyone questioning a light load. She would play this story out with explosives courtesy of the dealer. She smiled at the black eyed killer as he moved to the fireplace. She had to play the honey trap from time to time for Division, but she would willingly be a canny slut for herself and for the freedom it would soon gain her.

Nikita stepped over to the ornate oak and brass bar and poured a couple drinks. Jonah Hunt would be back in town in two weeks. She would work magic tonight and ensure that he would call her again when he came back. When he did, that is when she would make her break.

* * *

Amanda sat at the desk and watched Nikita with a smile. "You seem... content today."

Nikita leaned back in her own chair and smiled in return. "I am... happy that I have made a good connection with Jonah Hunt. He'll be a very good resource for Division." She enjoyed the office. The vicious bitch that sat across from her outfitted her rooms with a style and grace that belied the blackness in her heart. Nikita once wondered if the agency's queen venomous bitch was the reincarnation of Marie Antoinette, but While Amanda had the woman's style, she didn't have her big mouth.

"Nothing of a ... personal nature promoting the contentment?" The older woman watched her face closely.

Nikita smiled again. This was dangerous. Amanda tended to be very good at ferretting out the kinds of truths that led to dead agents. She had to be careful. "I was upset after Kelly died... but I think I am starting to find ways to fill that void."

Amanda's eye brows shot up. "Oh?"

Nikita chuckled. "I am enjoying a more Zen approach to food and wine. It's surprising how relaxing a nice white wine can be."

"So long as you don't over do it." Amanda tapped her computer. She looked up. "You are a good agent Nikita. I want you to feel you can come to me about anything."

Snake to the mouse, I'll just prop my mouth open and you can sleep on my tongue anytime... perfectly safe. Nikita bit back the smile that this thought caused. "I value our relationship," she responded.

Amanda watched her for long moments and then opened a desk drawer pulling out a pad of paper. She scribbled something and slid it to Nikita.

Her brow creased as she picked it up. "What's this?"

Amanda smiled. "Prescription. Take a glass of this vintage and call me in the morning."

Nikita pocketed the paper and stood. "I'll do that." She left closing the door gently behind her.

Amanda's friendly smile faded. She frowned as she considered the possibilities. Nikita had shown signs of restlessness of late. Her new contentment could be a simple case of finding a calm in a bottle of wine, but Amanda was not known for simply accepting the easiest truth however. There could be something troublesome at play here.

She tapped away at the keys on her computer, finishing up the report of their session.

_Agent could be hiding something. Nikita's increased restlessness should be monitored and reevaluated further. _

She closed the screen on her laptop. "What are you hiding, Nikita."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Life is very busy for me right now. I'll post again when I can. ;) Reviews are helpful. Thank you. **

**Enjoy.**

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Alexandra soaped up the drinking glass and smiled as she lost herself in a momentary fantasy. A moment of dreamy eyes evaporated as her pimp's growling voice cut through again. "I heard you the first time, Vlad. I'm just going to finish up and then I'll get ready... I won't be late." She grimaced. She hoped he didn't hear the snipe under the words. The night's work was not what she wanted in the least.

His fingers slid into her long brunette hair and pulled her head back sharply. She bit back the yelp. He carved out tongues that did things they weren't supposed to. Cutting out hers would be an enjoyment to him. His dank breath washed over her face as her fingers found the nearest surface to help her keep her balance. "The money you brought me last time did not pay for forgiveness. You will bring back a lot of money to apologize further for failing with your last job or so help me Sasha, I will carve you into tiny pieces and feed you to Killer. Do you understand me?" He shook her hard before releasing her sending the glass to the floor and Alex hard into the counter. She closed her eyes at the explosion of pain.

Her hands tightened on the edge of the sink and she smiled slightly as she imagined the large blackened iron skillet just a breath away from her fingertips in his head. Her fingers brushed the metal still warm from the hot soapy water. "I would never do less than my best for you," she said in a quiet voice that hid her dark intents. Schooling her face, she looked back at him.

"Clean up the damn glass before you go bitch. Don't leave my kitchen in a mess." He turned and left never knowing how close he came to death.

She knelt and picked up the shattered glass fragments from the tired linoleum floor. She watched as a bead of blood slowly moved over the pad of her finger after Alex tossed a particularly sharp piece in the garbage. Her head came up at the sound of the dogs in the cages below moments before an engine gunned. He had no problem leaving her to her own devices. Her leash was even more effective than the cages below. Looking at an empty cellophane bag on the table she growled. Grabbing it up she tossed it in the trash.

* * *

Nikita closed her eyes as the vegetable lasagna exploded with flavor in her mouth. Jonah chuckled. "Do you two need a room?" His eyes twinkled as he put another bite in his mouth with a grin.

Nikita's eyes opened. "I'm sorry?" She pulled the napkin from the lap of her little black dress to touch it to her lips before taking a sip of red wine.

He chuckled richly as he gestured at the plate. "You and the food. You... You're having a foodie orgasm." The man dabbed his lips with a cloth napkin.

The woman across from him shrugged. "It's a worthwhile love affair." she paused briefly. "Life is short. We have to learn to appreciate the little things in life. Don't you agree?"

He smiled broadly and took a forkful to taste. Hunt ignored her upraised brow. He shrugged. "Tasty," he agreed before turning back to his own rib eye steak.

Nikita barely stopped the eye roll. She faked a smile and went back to her vegetarian lasagna. Almost done. Almost there. Her mind kept chanting these phrases as her fingers tightened on the fork she was tempted to plant in his hand. She planted it in her food again.

Hunt's cell phone rang quietly and he frowned before pulling it from his inside pocket and answering. "What?" After listening a moment he swore quietly. "When?" His eyes darted to Nikita. "Fine," he growled. Tugging out his wallet he pulled out some cash and tossed it on the table. He hung up after writing down an address. "I need to take care of something. Finish your lasagna."

Nikita tossed her napkin on the table. "I'm done." She smiled engagingly and signaled the waiter.

He looked from her to the approaching waiter. "I have business to take care of." He stood and buttoned his coat, straightening his tie.

"I'll stay in the car, Jonah. Please," she flashed a heart warming smile. "I just want to be near you."

He thought for several long moments before nodding. "Stay in the car," he warned as he came around to pull her chair back for her.

She smiled happily. "Not a problem." Nikita planted a kiss on his cheek.

Nikita marked mentally the warehouse where the car stopped first. She pictured her route for the night. She would return, dressed in black. The assassin would come in from above to avoid the fairly obvious alarms on the place. If things went well, she would leave with enough explosive to burn away her life with Division. She smiled and winked at her reflection in the side mirror. She was inches from making things right.

She looked out at the darkened warehouse district. Nikita sighed as she brushed her hair back over an ear. Old life gone, she would start a new life for herself and Alexandra. But... she knew that she had to cut the strings with Division and cut away Alex's old life before she could make that happen. There was a certain vagueness in the future beyond that, but time would tell.

Amanda tapped her chin. She swiveled her desk chair to look at Birkhoff. He shifted uncomfortably as she stared at him for seconds. "So um, Amanda. I checked on Nikita. She hasn't had any unusual expenses or movements tied to any of her identities."

"Known identities," Amanda mused. "Dig a little more, Seymour. There may be nothing here... but it pays to be sure." Amanda smiled as she continued to stare at him. "Why are you still here?"

Birkhoff jumped up. "Right. On it."


End file.
